Wrong place, wrong f*cking time

Chicago was great. We had a blast. We spent too much money shopping and we ate delicious food. RR not only survived the big race, she did terrific and bested her last marathon by an hour and a half. My good buddy came down from Madison, WI to help me cheer on the Rabbit, and we were able to hang out for the day. I met some new people and drinks were drunk. In short: mission accomplished. For more on this feel free to visit RR and her faithfull ghostwriter.

Then what's with your title, Mr. Doom & Gloom?

For that story we have to go back in time two days before leaving for Chicago...

doodely-do-do, doodely-do-do, doodely-do-do

I had just left my office to pick up lunch for the Accountant and myself. I don't have much to choose from for lunch, so I headed down the hill to Wendy's. It is clear that this Wendy's does not have enough competition in the area, for when I arrived the drive-through line was wrapped around the entire building. I figured it would be quicker just to park and go in to get the food, so in I went.

As I was walking out into the parking lot I was being carefull not to spill the large iced-teas in my hands. A guy came driving around the corner of the building and saw me just in time not to make me his hood ornament. He waved me by with a friendly smile, and I continued toward my parked car. I walked around to the passenger side and set the teas on top of the car. My plan was to set them safely on the passenger floor for their commute back to the office. As I was about to unlock the door, I hear someone beeping their horn at me. I realize that it was the same guy that had almost hit me a few moments earlier. At this point he had pulled out onto the side street and was waiting to turn onto the main street. I thought to myself, "What now, Mr. Friendly?" But, as I saw his face, I noticed he was wearing a very strange expression. It was shock and almost fear.

At that point I noticed the huge tire that had just rolled past the front of his car. The huge tire that was headed towards me, towards me and my new car. I stood there and thought to myself, "What do I do? Do I kick it? Do I try and block it with something?" It was then that I realized that this was not "a" tire, this was two tires connected together. This was a set of dually tires off of a semi-truck, still attached to the rim. It was traveling along at about 30 miles an hour like it was on some mission. It slowed down a little when it hit the curb, but not much. I wasn't sure how much it weighed, but I figured blocking it with any part of my body would not be a good idea.

So, there I stood, watching helplessly as this thing smashes into the front of my car; with me only inches away. Yep, that's it there, still smoking from it's daring axle escape. The image quality is not great since I took the pictures with my phone, but you get the idea. From this picture it is hard to tell just how big the thing is.

Seeing it there next to my car gives you a little better idea. Yeah, I guess it's a good thing I didn't try to stop it. My Superman complex has gotten me into to trouble one other time, but not here.

So, after the initial shock of what had just happened passed, my next thought was "where the hell did it come from?" I looked around and saw a semi driving back behind the Wendy's building. I focused in on it and sure enough, it had 18 wheels minus 2. So, I took off running after the truck. The last thing I needed was this to become some sort of bizarre hit and run. At this point the truck had pulled into the parking lot of a small strip mall. I think he realized who I was as I came charging towards his cab. He opened his door with a befuddled look on his face.

"I can't believe that happened!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah, that makes two of us," I said.

"The flibbity-floble must have broke free from the jigerty-floop." At least this is what it sounded like to me. It all made perfect sense to him, although he admitted that he had never seen it happen before. Lucky me, as long as lightening was striking, maybe I should have played the lottery.

He was a nice guy and made sure I had all of his information. When I told him that I had thought about kicking it away he said, "I'm glad you didn't. It would have broken your leg at least. I'm just so glad it didn't hit you." This was true. No one was harmed and my car actually had very little damage under the circumstances. Fortunately it hit with the edge of the tire instead of head-on. And how it managed not to break my headlight and turn signal I do not know. Plus, there are about 30 airbags in the car; thank goodness none of those bitches went off.

So, I guess there is a silver lining to my story. I'm happy with how the VDub held up under duress. Besides, she made it to Chicago and back without further incident. Still, I can't wait to get her fixed.