Pardon the mother f*ckin' interruption
Anywho, let me back up for a minute (this is coming full circle I promiss). Since the begining of the year I have had to fire two maintenence guys. The first one turned out to be an undependable shmuck, the second one decided it would be a good idea to buy personal groceries and gas on the company credit card (to the total tune of about $700). Helloooo, we cross check the bill with the receipts duuumaaass! He is a deserving canidate for a Carlos Mencia style "DEEDEEDEE" if I ever saw one.
So, aside from me getting to be the hire guy and the fire guy, I am also the trainer guy too. That's right, every time I hire a new person I have to get them up to spead as soon as I can. It's not so much, "This is how you swing a hammer," but pretty much everything else. Then, when I fire them a month or so later, I get to start from scratch. Weeee!
Why don't you do a better job finding someone to hire, jackass?
Yeah, piss off, it isn't that easy. To add to the fun, now that we've been burned twice with the last one effectively stealing money, we apparently can't trust anyone. Or at least that is the adopted mindset. Even yours truely was suddenly under scruteny.
"Hi there, remember me? I'm the same guy who's worked here for years. I'm the one who caught and fired the bad man who was stealing. Oh, but I was also the one who hired him. So, I guess it does make sense to suddenly crawl up my ass. My bad, continue."
In the mean time, I have found another person, seemingly far more suitable than the last two. He has been working for us in this sort of limbo position (don't ask) for a few months now. But, he seems reluctant to sacrifice his first born son, so I don't know if we can actually trust him enough to hire him on.
"Are you pickin' up on the sarcasm? Good, 'cause I'm layin' it on pretty thick"
Until we do actually hire him, I get to carry the emergency pager. Goody! I like doing my rendition of a drug dealer by carrying both a cell phone and a pager!
"Wait, who has drugs?"
Settle down Kate, I said it was just a rendition.
Fast-forward now to me being in the wedding this weekend. Fortunately, I train new tenants comming in pretty well as to what constitutes an emergency, so the pager doesn't go off all that often. That is apparently unless I am in a wedding.
I happened to look at my phone during the reception to see what time it was. It was then that I noticed a missed call. Upon listening to the message, I realized it was a service guy from the gas and electric company. I checked the pager and yep, five pages.
"We smell gas, blah, blah, blah."
"The girl who lives in that apartment may be passed out inside, blah, blah, blah."
Long story short (too late), my night was interrupted by a blown out pilot light. Oh the joys.
posted by The Absent Minded Landlord at 12:17 AM
15 Comments:
I think you steal that baby, and then just raise it to be the perfect maintenance guy. In about 15 years, all your problems are solved :)
Haven't you heard; if you want a job done, you have to do it yourself? Never trust ANYONE! :)
Have you seen Eon Flux? You should just start cloning yourself!
My new downstairs neighbours moved in the other day and woke me up this morning (Sunday of a long weekend!!) with their blasting music and video games. I hate people. I hate tenants even more.
OOOhhhh, ooohhh...i think i know the answe about why Joe Pesci is your icon.......is it....
BECAUSE EACH EYE IS A DIFFERENT COLOR????
please tell me i am right!!! i did a lot of research!!!
Girlfriend You have way too much time on your hands if you actually researched it. It's NOT that difficult!
SCREW YOU GUYS (IM GOING HOME)
yep. Peoples is smarter...pilot light indeed.
HEY! You and I are probably the only two people on Earth that have both Dogma and The Jerk listed as fave movies. Cool.
Spacecake: "Never trust anyone." Are you the accountant for my company? I think that is her mantra.
Susanne: No one was inside. If she was she would have opened the door for the Gas Guy and the problem would have been solved. Instead his solution was to shut off gas to the entire building and leave. Gee, I hope no one wanted to cook or have hot water that night.
Celeste: I actually just saw that movie, but they make cloning seem flawless. As Micheal Keeton learned in Multiplicity, too many of you can suck. The last thing I need is to end up with a mentally challenged version of myself running around f'ing things up more than I do.
Pretty Teeth: I fear that you are thinking too hard. The answer as to why Pesci is my picture icon is (besides the fact that I enjoy his work) he played the title role in a movie named The Super (as in building superintendant). It was admittedly not one of his better movies, but fitting none-the-less.
Wendy: Another similarity is that I am the drywall king and I too appreciate boobs.
Hahahaa, no I'm not. But really, it's true. You have to do everything yourself. Or maybe I'm living in the wrong country.
damn, youre sexy
Hey, wank, blog already!!! What, do you actually have a life or something???
hey iheart... you are a wank.. leave the busy man alone...
And, um hey can you come fix my lock?
Hey what happened to your photo? Its missing!
It's back. I had it set as an internal link to another site that apparently crapped out. The fun thing now is, even though from here on out is OK, all of my past comments in blogland will still be the old link-photo that no longer works.
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