I Ain't Signing It!

O.K., I promiss, no more Jim Gaffigan style external dialogues.

So, I've teased you with a glimpse of the landlord goodness. But, before we fall too deap into that rabbit hole, let's take a look at being a real estate agent.

I was contacted by a guy who wanted to sell his house. After a quick scan of the list of things I do, sure enough, that's one of them. So, I set up a time to meet with him. Now these meetings, or "listing appointments" in Realtor Speak, can go many different directions. Most of the time they are in the nervous-creepy-strange realm.

Like going on job interviews so much that you want to do it on a continual, consistant basis? Then this might just be the profession for YOU!

Anyhow, with some experience, I've gotten pretty good at determining over the phone which direction they are going to go, and therefore the strategy I'll take. This particular gentleman seemed like he was pretty motivated to sell his house and willing to do what it takes to make it happen. Normally, this is a good way to start out. Truely motivated sellers are often more willing to listen to advice and to price their home realistically. So went the meeting according to my prediction. We were flying right along until I was hit with one tidbit of info: The Ex-Wife.

Yes, apparently his ex still has partial rights to the house. DAMN! I should have asked on the phone, therefore having all responsible parties together at the same time. I know better, but it is surprising difficult to throw the question, "So... you ever been divorced?" into a conversation with a complete stranger. No big deal, it just meant that the deal was not getting done right then. We set up a time for the three of us to meet at the house, after he assured me that they had an amicable relationship. I offered to meet with her seperately, but he said, "No, no, we're not friends, but we get along fine. I'll call her and let her know. She wants to get the house sold as much as I do."

Skip to the next day. He is standing outside the house as I pull into the driveway. My timing is impecable as, no sooner did we exchange a few pleasantries, The Ex-Wife pulls up. As she is parking her car on the street, she starts shouting "I ain't signing it! I ain't signing it!" Now, this demure little old man, whom I've yet to hear speak louder than a virtual whisper, yells back, "What! What you say woman!" Lovely.

A period of time passes filled with random shouting. Five, ten minutes maybe. I'm not sure for I had gone to my happy place at that point, rocking and sucking my thumb. Statements like:

"The lawyer told you not to call me about the house, he would deal with it."

"Fine, then, get back in your car and go away."

"You always trying to trick somebody, now you trying to trick me out of my money."

are imprinted on a dark place in the grey matter that's between my ears. Finally she did leave and he gave me the lawyer's info to contact. I'll leave you with one of his final comments: "Good luck dealing with that lawyer. He's as crazy as she is. They were made for each other." Lovely.